Post by rualani on Jul 2, 2016 4:44:16 GMT
Hello,
My actual name is Joshua and I've been floating around CT for.... I dunno 3 months?
My story getting here.
Initially starting as a forever logical INTP stereotype, I came to Visual Reading hoping to find something more clear to verify my type.
However on my journey I had run into some visual reads that had me showing as an intuitive feeling type. Not only that, I had some family members
that had shown a similar typology. Doubt started to grow within me and a search for a visual typing community that felt reasonable increased.
What was strange about that doubt, was how various memories of my life started to cloud my vision revealing a different picture
then what I was used to. I started to experiment... with types. What would I be if I gazed back into the past pretending to be this type, or that type.
If I was a "SJ" MBTI stereotype could I find evidence within my memories that I fit that type? What about the "NT" that I believed myself to be. I found that
I could find pieces that fit the generalizations if I looked hard enough.
This feeling what what had made me desperate to search for some objective viewpoint to anchor myself down to. When I came to cognitive type
I was delighted to see that others had been researching this phenomenon with a far more open spirit. I'm still astonished that the forums were
so small and activity was low. I expected to be drowned out with bajillions of voices, but what I saw was the genesis of something new.
Heck, even seeing peoples 'type me' threads being answers personally by the founders blew my mind. It does make me wonder about scalability
in the future but I'm going to enjoy the ride while I can .
After some time I managed to get a high quality video up and the results were... very unambiguous. I was surprised that everyone
saw the same thing so clearly. I was, also, surprised to be, once again, verified as a feeling intuitive type. This clashed with my own identity
strongly, however it didn't break me as I had already been exploring doubt about my identity.
The next step was figuring out what NeFi meant to me. First off the bat, I couldn't wrap my head around being this type. I was a super logical INTP!
Not some...scatter-minded goofy... wait...those words are familiar...I have heard those... word before. I slowly began to realize that, once again, there were memories
that verified the type. I did have a theory that I had an overabundance of Ne when I believed myself to be an INTP so some of it fit.
The conflict between this new type and my previous identity made me realize that I had been warping my story to fit some false vision.
A vision where I wasn't vulnerable. A vision where I wasn't much of anything really, well except logical, of course.
Age did a number on my expectations as well. I started to realize just how crazy this game of life, and how I had been simplifying myself
to fit in this logical vision just so I knew what to expect. I have learned that sometimes, it's best to let the change overwhelm. Still, I won't underestimate
how insecure environments will cause people to shrink themselves so they can adapt to the environment. Sometimes I think it's all about openness vs security.
If that's the case, I suppose I want to help create a world where people can embrace a greater whole of themselves...I don't want them to end up wasting life in circles...
like I have.
Still, regret asides, the new insights that have come from the breakdown of my narrow vision has been beneficial. Such a loss of vision was only able to happen by realizing, that
I had a repressed Fi. While it's nature is still very much unknown, it was enough of a explanation for me to start digging on my repressed feelings. I still don't know what came first...
psychological Fi repression following with emotional consequences or Fi fading as a result of emotional repression. It's interesting isn't it?
A little bit of sunshine for a weary traveler
-Now that I'm in the forum, I'm excited to try and explore the whole of myself, that I've been neglecting. No pressure though, the best way to explore
is to just be silly .
-Maybe learn about the nature of NeFi separate from my own development, though, development is part of the discovery process as well!
My actual name is Joshua and I've been floating around CT for.... I dunno 3 months?
My story getting here.
Initially starting as a forever logical INTP stereotype, I came to Visual Reading hoping to find something more clear to verify my type.
However on my journey I had run into some visual reads that had me showing as an intuitive feeling type. Not only that, I had some family members
that had shown a similar typology. Doubt started to grow within me and a search for a visual typing community that felt reasonable increased.
What was strange about that doubt, was how various memories of my life started to cloud my vision revealing a different picture
then what I was used to. I started to experiment... with types. What would I be if I gazed back into the past pretending to be this type, or that type.
If I was a "SJ" MBTI stereotype could I find evidence within my memories that I fit that type? What about the "NT" that I believed myself to be. I found that
I could find pieces that fit the generalizations if I looked hard enough.
This feeling what what had made me desperate to search for some objective viewpoint to anchor myself down to. When I came to cognitive type
I was delighted to see that others had been researching this phenomenon with a far more open spirit. I'm still astonished that the forums were
so small and activity was low. I expected to be drowned out with bajillions of voices, but what I saw was the genesis of something new.
Heck, even seeing peoples 'type me' threads being answers personally by the founders blew my mind. It does make me wonder about scalability
in the future but I'm going to enjoy the ride while I can .
After some time I managed to get a high quality video up and the results were... very unambiguous. I was surprised that everyone
saw the same thing so clearly. I was, also, surprised to be, once again, verified as a feeling intuitive type. This clashed with my own identity
strongly, however it didn't break me as I had already been exploring doubt about my identity.
The next step was figuring out what NeFi meant to me. First off the bat, I couldn't wrap my head around being this type. I was a super logical INTP!
Not some...scatter-minded goofy... wait...those words are familiar...I have heard those... word before. I slowly began to realize that, once again, there were memories
that verified the type. I did have a theory that I had an overabundance of Ne when I believed myself to be an INTP so some of it fit.
The conflict between this new type and my previous identity made me realize that I had been warping my story to fit some false vision.
A vision where I wasn't vulnerable. A vision where I wasn't much of anything really, well except logical, of course.
Age did a number on my expectations as well. I started to realize just how crazy this game of life, and how I had been simplifying myself
to fit in this logical vision just so I knew what to expect. I have learned that sometimes, it's best to let the change overwhelm. Still, I won't underestimate
how insecure environments will cause people to shrink themselves so they can adapt to the environment. Sometimes I think it's all about openness vs security.
If that's the case, I suppose I want to help create a world where people can embrace a greater whole of themselves...I don't want them to end up wasting life in circles...
like I have.
Still, regret asides, the new insights that have come from the breakdown of my narrow vision has been beneficial. Such a loss of vision was only able to happen by realizing, that
I had a repressed Fi. While it's nature is still very much unknown, it was enough of a explanation for me to start digging on my repressed feelings. I still don't know what came first...
psychological Fi repression following with emotional consequences or Fi fading as a result of emotional repression. It's interesting isn't it?
A little bit of sunshine for a weary traveler
-Now that I'm in the forum, I'm excited to try and explore the whole of myself, that I've been neglecting. No pressure though, the best way to explore
is to just be silly .
-Maybe learn about the nature of NeFi separate from my own development, though, development is part of the discovery process as well!